I don't even know what to write. I don't even know what to say. The past couple of weeks have been long. The pain I felt has consumed me. So much so that I lost my focus on the important piece of my life, my Savior. I think the quote Alex gave me the other day is fitting. "We will play at this game Christianity until we realize we are really at war for our soul." Today I have been hit with a two ton truck of truth. Now do I like it? Not really how much it hurt. Not from the people who talked to me but in realizing the only thing standing in my way is ME. The only thing stopping the fight against Satan for my Savior is ME. I feel broken but broken in a good way. Broken in truth. I feel calm. I feel saved. Today although I did not enjoy the tears, the ride has been good. I am no longer my own worst enemy. I am no longer standing in my way. And I am putting up my strongest defense. I am putting Christ at my door. I am letting Him fight in my place with His strength against Satan. I am calm. I can feel the peace. I'm no longer afraid. I am ready to accept Christ's gift. I am ready for His joy, His love, and His peace. It is in my hands, I can feel it. But even stronger is that I can feel it in my heart. I love my Savior.
Undeserving, But Blessed,
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